Let me read your favorite posts (Thanks for letting me read them!)

[Albatross]

Would be cool if you read out a historic piece: mf's Guide To Firstposting (first edition)

 

[Voltage]

Would be cool if you read out a historic piece: mf's Guide To Firstposting (first edition)

https://voca.ro/1dJz2pgZnqYH

Wow, it's like I really learned something! Also there's reverb but I'm at my desk, so fuck it.

 

[Gekokeso]

https://voca.ro/17pndXver2V7 <- Please listen to if you can!

Alright gang, here's the lowdown. I'm a semipro voice actor and really enjoy doing what I do. One of the best ways to practice voiceover is to read things aloud and try to gather ideas on how something should be read. I wanted to shift some of my side attention to Smogon and Smogoff to really hone in on some of the random wacky stuff that gets posted here. So that's why I'm here and I'm ready to read things you send.

I have a professional setup that I can use for recording that you might find helpful to know. I have a Rode NT1A Microphone and Steinberg UR-12 Interface. My DAW of choice is Adobe Audition and I am very familiar with the audio engineering side of things. I am working out of a closet booth most of the time and I am able to hit a noise floor of -57db which, for the purposes of reading shitposts on a Pokemon website, is more than enough. The vocaroo I posted is an example of some edited and compressed audio, and I'm able to adjust the postprocessing accordingly.

I have some general rules that I will adhere to in the process of this thread:

• Please try to keep all the thins you want me to read from Smogon.com. They can be analyses, funny posts, mental breakdowns, copypastas, whatever. But please try to keep them from this website.
  • I have the discretion to reject any request if it is otherwise something I feel would be extremely unsavory (and you know which threads I am talking about)
  • Please also include a link to what you'd like me to read.
• The audio files have to be uploadable to vocaroo so they cannot be overly long. Therefore if you post a longer request, I will only be able to do up to 3 total minutes of audio per request.
• I am doing this for free and have no plans to solicit any money from you all. But I do ask that if you do request things repeatedly that you donate to some sort of charity to pay it forward.
  • Because I'm doing this for free, please understand that I also have paid projects that have my priority and that I am working on these on my own time.

Thanks for reading this. At this point you can consider this thread open for business. :]

Completed Requests

https://voca.ro/1kdR9sr5tkCQ - BP's Salamence Analysis (First Paragraph)
https://voca.ro/1h3fJZ8g9Jwx - Lavos Quit Rant
https://voca.ro/1k36F1yQEBJa - "Kabutops is a threat in UU matches"
https://voca.ro/1i4zRrHgulAI - "What the fuck"
https://voca.ro/16kh0DFkqSGr - BMB's Necturna Analysis (Opening three paragraphs)
https://voca.ro/1nnnTJEcQSer - "ey up lads its fookin shade from pohkemon"
https://voca.ro/1dJz2pgZnqYH - mf's guide to firstposting

Aight bro if you don't get the post for the best thread of 2021 I will bring this site to its knees. Side note, could you read the scheduling with Americans post?

 

[Voltage]

BTW, I was on vocal rest yesterday and today, but I aim to accomplish more of these this weekend including:

1. Scheduling with americans in my worst aussie accent\
2. https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/page-5.3676391/#post-8717044
3. The best roast

And any other requests that I may have missed so far.

 

[Bog Monster]

https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/酷空破.3541883/post-6288606 pls

 

[Mr. Uncompetitive]

damn your voice is really good lol, like a perfect Youtuber voice or something idk

I will ask for Bedschibaer's Haunter rant

 

[VTaxi]

I would like to see how you would read this.

 

[Voltage]

Hey gang, just posting from the booth to say that the Haunter Rant is going to be the most wild thing you've heard in your life and I am going to need so much tea with honey holy fucking shit. I hope it's worth it.

 

[monkfish]

Hey gang, just posting from the booth to say that the Haunter Rant is going to be the most wild thing you've heard in your life and I am going to need so much tea with honey holy fucking shit. I hope it's worth it.

I will ask for Bedschibaer's Haunter rant

this is the first time ive seen this and its incredible. looking forward to the dramatic reading

 

[Voltage]

https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/page-5.3676391/#post-8717044

u have a very good voice

please newsread for Page 5 tyvm

https://voca.ro/16FZ9UF92Sde

https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/酷空破.3541883/post-6288606 pls

https://voca.ro/1igG4MOHTBeD

https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/hottest-pokegirl.3508261/page-4#post-5503363

If this is too long or unsavory, you could do this instead (definitely shorter and hopefully less unsavory)

https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/what-words-simply-aren’t-real.3675702/#post-8707163

https://voca.ro/1h3298HNv1Pj (did a couple takes, kept one read in because I totally didn't forget to edit it out)

best roast (if not straight up murder) i have ever read

edit: considering the length i think i can be satisfied with the line "I’m 97% sure that you have to be Sand Veil Garchomp to avoid getting cervical cancer from even listening to the smogcast for like 5 minutes."

https://voca.ro/1ichrgmZIjII (I really wish I was able to get that paragraph in one breath, fuck)

https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/smogon-grand-slam-iv-play-offs-no-winner.3557653/page-29

post made by Bedschibaer

https://voca.ro/1l7OYrGLFY9J (Did a funny old man smoker voice for fu

damn your voice is really good lol, like a perfect Youtuber voice or something idk

I will ask for Bedschibaer's Haunter rant

https://voca.ro/1l5E0rZWbxum (epic)

 

[az]

why is having them read out os satisfying, fuck

posting in a SIX star thread

 

[monkfish]

https://voca.ro/1l5E0rZWbxum (epic)

better than i could have possibly imagined

 

[GoodMorningEspeon]

i spent a decent amount of time trying to dig this one up

 

[brightobject]

the beds post was so good lol

https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/subjugator-life-status-alive.3572602/ try this op on for size (i know its pretty long, up to you how much of it u want to tackle)

 

[GoodMorningEspeon]

the beds post was so good lol

https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/subjugator-life-status-alive.3572602/ try this op on for size (i know its pretty long, up to you how much of it u want to tackle)

the subjugator era is definitely a throwback for me, holy shit i forgot about how absurd this was LOL

 

[Astra]

my favorite trou post

 

[spoo]

after that haunter rant I imagine you’re feeling a little
https://www.smogon.com/forums/threa...gators-in-unusual-places.3678028/post-8752269

thanks in advance

 

[superstrike66]

This post

Also give a shoutout to the Tang Gang

 

[Plague von Karma]

The first paragraph of the Bugmaniacbob Claydol analysis

 

[cookie]

this is technically my post but it's a copy of the original: https://www.smogon.com/forums/threa...uld-you-beat-in-a-fight.3683605/#post-8844679

 

[cityscapes]

https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/full-time-pokemon-player.3623132/post-7614226

lots of great posts in here but this one is my favorite

 

[gvmgvm40]

can someone find that post about autistic boobies

 

[Plague von Karma]

can someone find that post about autistic boobies

gotcha covered fam

 

[Voltage]

Will be in the booth tomorrow and Thursday, you can expect at least a couple of these requests getting knocked out :]

I'm not reading autistic boobies (that was the thread that i had in mind when I made the "I have discretion to say no" rule)

 

[Bughouse]

some faves. choose any/all:

https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/fragrance-reviews.3560920/#post-6607290
https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/our-policy-on-making-policies.86907/#post-3344656
https://www.smogon.com/forums/threa...y-own-smogon-girlfriend.3521588/#post-5846101
https://www.smogon.com/forums/threa...s-of-fixing-this.3491168/page-22#post-5702293
https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/dpp-empoleon.52937/#post-1898145
https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/message-to-oglemi-nails-and-honko.3466724/